- Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
Updates
Jewish Settlers get dragged around
Abu Gharib prison photos reviewed
My super exciting trip to Chicago
hippie explodes in our basement
Governor Blagojevich puts teens to work
Presidential Hopeful Howard Dean exposed to gamma Radiation.
Left Lane Law Confusion is alleviated
Tetro-Phonic Instratrute Review uncovered!
2003 in 2003 heats up
Movies, YOU need to see
Bicycling: Remembering a weird guy from SIU
Asheron's Call: The best ten dollars a month you'll ever spend
Special Feature: Anatomy of a Cavity
George
W has Big Plans for Mars
by Jerry Atrix
Possessing
what some say to be the most ambitious goals for the United States space
program since John Kennedy, George W Bush has announced even more ambition
and absurdity than even his harshest critics gave him credit for.
It is well known the goals the president set last week for returning to the moon and after that Mars, but on Monday, however, he expanded the goals by saying that he would make the maiden voyage to Mars himself. When asked the reasoning he stated that Bin Laden must be found and seeing how we've looked everywhere else he must be there. Word has leaked as to what supplies are to be aboard the President's ship, all at his request. They are, 1,257 lbs of Texas BBQ ribs, 729 lbs Freedom fries, 200 cases of Busch beer, 10 gallons of Tabasco sauce, 5 kilos of medicinal cocaine and the entire hooked on phonics collection. He has also reportedly asked for the entire Merle Haggard collection and a boxed set of Robert Redford movies. Upon learning about his decision one Democratic presidential hopefuls, a former governor, MD, and man of obnoxious disposition asked, "Exactly when is he getting back?"
In conclusion we realize that running a country takes it's toll on a man but if it's a vacation you need, Dubya this is ridiculous.
