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Special Feature: Anatomy of a Cavity

Sean Hannity Interviews Dead President
Transcript from original Hannity&Colmes broadcast
1-23-05

Hello, today we have the first president of the United States, President George Washington on the show. Recently Mr. Washington has returned from the grave to voice opposition to the war effort in Iraq.

Mr. President could you please tell us why it is that you don’t support the effort to create a free democracy in Iraq.

GW: Yes, and thanks for having me on your show Mr. Hannity. I oppose the war in Iraq adamantly enough to return from the dead to voice my opposition. As you may very well know the 13 Colonies fought for their independence from tyrannical British rule and I played a pivotal role in that struggle. Though we received help from out allies in Europe such as the French, it was primarily the blood of Americans that was spilled to free America from the British. You see there must be a thirst for freedom and will to sacrifice before democracy can take hold.

SH: Yes, but don’t you think that as the greatest, most powerful nation in the world we have a responsibility to, help democracy take root, in as many places as we can.

GW: Well Sean that is just the thing, democracy can not take hold in a nation where the people do not yearn for it in a way where they would fight to achieve it. Also as an isolationist I believe that America should keep to its own affairs. Of course it seems a little late for that.

SH: Mr. President I know you’ve been out of the loop for awhile but since 9/11 America has a responsibility to seek out terrorists where every they exist in the world, and don’t you think sir that it’s the duty of every American alive or dead to support the troops in time of war.

GW: It’s the duty of every Amercian to question the motives of his governments actions, it is a neccasary part of a democa…(cut off)

SH: Sir, the motives of this war without doubt are the most pure that have ever existed. We went to Iraq to liberate the country from a brutal dictator who… (cut off)

GW: I thought we went to war to seize Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, which have been proven to never exist.

SH: I can’t believe this liberal garbage, you’ve spent too much time listening to the mainstream liberal press, there were WMDs in Iraq, they had 500 tons of Uranium and airplanes buried in the sand, and what about the rape, murder, the 500,000 bodies pulled from mass graves, what do you think about them.

GW: I was just did some googling on mass graves before I came to the studio are apparently the number of bodies has been greatly exaggerated there are actually only…(cut off)

SH: Look sir, deep down I respect you, but you are really just a misguided liberal.

GW: Sir I will have you know that I am WHIG.

SH: Yeah whatever, cut his mic,