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Bicycling: Remembering a weird guy from SIU
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Valentines Day Sucks
2-13-03 There is no greater insult then Valentines day. Of course business warps nearly every holiday to increase sales but no other holiday except maybe Christmas can compete with valentines day for sheer insanity. One a torturous visit to the mall this week I saw a big sign out front of Friedman's jewelers that said, "There's Love In Here" (This is where the older, wealthier men should go.) Show your love with the diamond solitaire only 999.99. blarg blarg blarg. It really bothers me that there is a price on love. How much more do I love my wife if I buy her a 1000 dollar piece of jewlery over a 100 dollar piece, 900 dollars more? Is going into debt worth more love then buying what you can afford? If I steal something is that worth as much as going into debt? More because there is more risk?
On a trip to Wal-Mart tonight, (This is where the younger poorer men should go.) the night before Valentines day, men were running around like idiots, packing huge bouquets , stupid balloons, big stupid heart shaped boxes of candy and even bigger stupider stuffed animals. Come on women surely you can't be excited about getting this giant fuzzy red cross between a teddy bear and Jim Henson's Animal. We all know that you toss the stuff shortly after you get it anyway, or pack it away in a closet.
My proposal is that we do away with the stupid holiday completely! That is probably a little to radical so how about we just give cash as presents. This would almost be as good as getting rid of the holiday. Eventually this would facilitate the end of the holiday when everyone realized they were giving 10 bucks and getting 10 bucks back (For me it's actually 2 bucks, but I am just averaging it out to 10) People could just exchange a hand shake or maybe just wave from across the room.
