- Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
Updates
Jewish Settlers get dragged around
Abu Gharib prison photos reviewed
My super exciting trip to Chicago
hippie explodes in our basement
Governor Blagojevich puts teens to work
Presidential Hopeful Howard Dean exposed to gamma Radiation.
Left Lane Law Confusion is alleviated
Tetro-Phonic Instratrute Review uncovered!
2003 in 2003 heats up
Movies, YOU need to see
Bicycling: Remembering a weird guy from SIU
Asheron's Call: The best ten dollars a month you'll ever spend
Special Feature: Anatomy of a Cavity
Viable Hiatus foreign correspondent, Matt Gholson was on hand this week for up to the week war coverage in Iraq and filed the following reports.
Wednesday 9th, 9:37 AM
Well I have just arrived here is Saddam city to find the Iraqi citizens
in an uproar over the art that surrounds their cities. In a defiant
move that is sure to make history the people have been knocking down statues
which they deem "unappropropriate for their environment. Here
you can see behind me some gentleman pushing and pulling on the statues
and beating them with their shoes. Apparently America's preemptive
strike against totalitarian art of mass destruction is a great success.
One Master Sergeant James Tennessee commented to me on the sheer volume
of totalitarian art discovered. "No matter how many times they
said they didn't have any, isn't going to change the facts, Saddam had
horrible tastes," he said.
Wednesday 9th 11:26 AM
As
fires broke out and the long repressed Baghdad citizens began asserting
their new western rights looting broke out all over town. Government
building were being ransacked, citizens were taking everything not tied
to the walls. American officials did nothing to stop this seeing
it as a kind of just deserves for the Citizenry. While attempting
to interview a looter I saw a great set of comforters that matched my
curtains. I couldn't resist joining in on the fun. Most looters
casually sauntered back to their dwellings goods in hand but I couldn't
help the nawing sensation I was trailed by police so I ran like a jackrabbit
back to my hotel.
Wednesday 9th 2:39 PM
After shipping the comforters back to Harrisburg I enjoyed a light lunch
and went back out to the streets. While directing my photographer
to record damage to a presidential palace I was approached by a man claiming
to be a personal assistant to Saddam Hussein. He was packing a large
load of Dinars, the Iraqi national currency. He was interested in
exchanging his currency for my American dollars. Fortunately I am
no fool and would not trade him straight up my 1000 dollars for his 100
dinars. He told me I could have this house as a fee for the transaction.
Since I've always wanted a bombed out presidential palace in Baghdad I
jumped at the offer.
Wednesday 9th 4:55 PM
Unfortanitly the kitchen of my new home was a target for a 2000 pound
GPS guided smart bomb so the fridge was no longer fully stocked with local
delicacies. So I took the camera man Steve out for some local cuisine.
We came back to my palace to stand guard against looters and enjoy our
roast pig when some American troops came by with emergency rations.
We lit some rubble on fire and warmed up the rations, I played some Bob
Dylan on the Iraqi 8- track player and we all had a good ol' time.
This has been Viable Hiatus foreign correspondant Matt Gholson reporting
from Baghdad.
